L: Could you tell me what, for you, makes a space queer?
Well, the simple-not-so-simple answer is a space where queer people feel accepted, but it’s hard to create a space like that. Most spaces, I think, have some kind of leadership, not always, but usually someone has to organise certain things, so it is good to have representation in that, I think that’s really important. So, a space where queer people, in that case, are able to kind of take charge and take the lead, and I think within the group, if it’s more than one person that’s organising it, hopefully there would be some sort of diversity, I think that would be ideal. So that it’s not just white cis-gender gay men for instance ˗ that’s just one small aspect of the queer community, which is so big and so diverse in itself, so I think that helps. And to open up the space to a variety of experiences.
I think people, like if it’s not going to be a diverse group, there’s going to be a blind spot, so having it be accepting and open and hopefully having it not criticising other identities too much… I feel like one thing that’s really not talked about very much is the phenomenon of biphobia, which you see everywhere, even within the queer community, unfortunately. And of course, there’s all kinds of other forms of phobia and discrimination that you see within the queer community, so I think people who identify as bi are not alone in struggling with that type of thing.
“One thing that’s really not talked about very much is the phenomenon of biphobia, which you see everywhere, even within the queer community.”
But the idea of kind of recognising your own privileges and recognising other people’s privileges… It’s fine if someone wants to say to me ‘you know, you have a partner that’s a man and you’re a woman, so to the ‘untrained eye’, you might just appear to be a straight person’, it’s fine to recognise those privileges, that’s important too, but also there can be a flip side to that, and there can be discrimination, and also a lack of acceptance within the queer community can really weigh someone down as well.
“A lack of acceptance within the queer community can really weigh someone down as well.”
So, I think a diverse group that can organise the event and the space and keep a structure, like not police it but just kind of encourage a healthy debate while being respectful of all queer identities and all identities in general, because any good debate has to be intersectional as well, and any good conversation has to take into account the intersection of people’s identities. And I think it also really helps to do some reading about what I’m gonna call identity studies for lack of a better word, how people might privilege certain identities in certain spaces.
So, when you’re in a group of queer people, your queerness might feel very important all of a sudden, or it could also have the flipside of ‘Oh, it doesn’t matter because we’re all queer’. It might not feel like something you have to be very vocal about, but it could also be something that you talk about constantly, because you’re finally in a space where everybody is queer.
And it goes that way for a lot of identities, a lot of communities; you see a lot of times that maybe a person of colour, like a woman of colour might privilege her identity of being a person of colour over her identity of being a woman. So white women might expect like ‘Oh, we’re all women here’, but for the person of colour it might be like ‘Well, actually, when it comes down to it, I’m gonna go ahead and privilege my identity as a person of colour’.
And I think most importantly, even though you see so many patterns and you cannot create an identity theory ultimately, identity is something that doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It is a part of a larger group structure, but it’s also personal, and I think that dichotomy is always really tough for people to pinpoint. I think everybody always likes to think they know everything about identity. In my experience as someone who actually studied this and has a degree in this kind of stuff, people tend to be like ‘Oh, yeah, this is what it means to be Mexican’, or ‘This is what it means to be Dutch’, or ‘This is what it means to be Latina’, but…
There are of course certain people who are lifted up within the community and outside of the community to be a respected spokesperson for the group for instance, but ultimately that is just one person’s experiences and opinions, and everyone’s experiences are valid. So if you feel like you identify a certain way, people can’t tell you not to be put off by, or disappointed or whatever when someone tries to tell you ‘You don’t belong to the group’. Because of course acceptance is important, but everyone experiences things differently. So even then, a queer space to me might not feel like a queer space to somebody else, and that’s ok, too.
“A queer space to me might not feel like a queer space to somebody else, and that’s ok, too.”
