L: Can you tell me a bit about what you’re doing on your YouTube-channel?
Well, my channel is a bit on a hiatus, but it will be back, trust and believe, because it’s something I really like doing. It’s just that I don’t have so much time right now, but I actually maybe in the future wanna do a podcast also, like I was telling you about the cooking, because I love those things, you know. And then I also want it to be a way for me to promote my music, when I start that. But yeah, it’s basically for trans people, especially from the Caribbean, who identify with my experience. But at the same time, I think it will obviously touch upon different experiences that I have had, whether it will be being trans, being black, being an immigrant, being Caribbean…
And, you know, different interests cross with each other, so I think it won’t only be for black trans people from the Caribbean, but it could also be for other people. Because I am not only gonna be talking about being trans, but that’s a major experience and thing that I identify with, so there will be also content on that. So, I think that’s what I wanna do with the channel, moving forward.
It’s hard, because I wanna make a network, where I can find people who are interested in doing things, to help me with my channel, but at the same time also do something that they wanna do. Like people who are interested in videography, so then they could practice videography while helping me with my channel. Vloggers, they most of the time have more of a team, to help them shoot and stuff, or do other things, and maybe then we could form more of a group as well, like a collective, so you help me and I help you. Whoever needs help.
L: It’s also like it’s own community then.
Yeah, also. And it would be lovely if this community would also have queer people who have the black experience as well, that would be nice. But most importantly people who understand each other. Well, not understand, exactly, but listen and be open to each other. Whether they are different or the same of have some things in common… I would love that, to just be in a creative community, that’s just like love to me, you know? Family.
“I would love that, to just be in a creative community, that’s just like love to me, you know?”
L: Is there anything we haven’t talked about that you would still like to say?
Well, you know, even on my channel, I feel like I sometimes have to edit myself, because of the way people might perceive me. Although I am a person who doesn’t really let that stop me, I feel like in the past videos that I did, I felt like I still need to be more myself. I’ve always felt before that people didn’t look at me maybe as how I see myself, and I want to be more bold in the future, to say and to share things that maybe people wouldn’t think are okay because of the body I’m in. But use that sharing in a way that it frees me.
“I feel like coming out really gives you such a freedom.”
That’s why I feel like coming out is… It’s something you do on your own time, but I feel like coming out really gives you such a freedom. Such a relief after you do it. It makes you really feel free, so like I wanna come out in the sense of everything, I wanna be in the light. That’s how I feel I always wanted to live, and so I wanna do that in every aspect of my life, I wanna come out and just be able to be free. I think coming out for me makes me feel free, it makes me feel like I’m dancing in the light, and nothing can, nobody could make me feel bad, because I’m in the light, you know? So, I wanna do more of that and share my experiences more boldly, and I think to some extend I haven’t done that, and I held back because I was afraid of what people might think about me.
I wanna say and do and express myself in ways that some people might not understand or might not necessarily like, but it will be a way for me to be just free, and just live. It’s people’s problem if they have a problem with that. And i think that’s also a way of loving yourself. Actually, I saw this with RuPaul also, he always says ‘People are free to make a fool of themselves’, and I feel like we have to just let go and make a fool of ourselves. And then what you think is a fool is actually the best of you coming out. Even if people might not like that, but it’s you letting go, being free, and not letting anything stop you. Not letting what people say hold you back. So be yourself and do you.
L: Thank you so much for this conversation.